Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Are You Missing This Vital Ingredient?

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There’s something that nobody teaches us at school, which is vital to our sense of happiness and mental wellbeing.  It’s an ingredient we should learn from our parents, yet if they’re missing this vital ingredient, how can we expect them to pass it onto us?

What is this vital mystery ingredient, you may ask?

The answer is self esteem.

See, you can have all the ambition and success in the world, but if you don’t feel good about yourself in terms of your self worth and sense of personal power - it will hold you back like nothing else.

Today, many people are trying to fill emotional voids with external things; for instance, many people will latch onto a fancy car and use it as a prop to raise their self-esteem, but this is coming from the ego rather than a grounded place of true self-esteem.  

Similarly, some people will receive wonderful jewellery from places like http://yourdiamondguru.com/reviews/brilliant-earth-review/ that will make them dazzle and shine on the outside, yet on the inside, if they lack this vital ingredient of self esteem, they will feel hollow and insecure.

Now, the (sort of) good news is that almost everyone is lacking in this vital ingredient of self-esteem, for as a society, we are experiencing an emotional epidemic of low self esteem and low self worth.  

This comes out in a variety of ways, and doesn't have to be as pronounced as self harm, getting dangerously drunk, or sleeping with anybody that gives you some attention.  It can be as subtle as a nagging feeling that you’re not good enough, or a lack of confidence in your ability to achieve something you desire.

Louise Hay, who is an expert on this area of self esteem and self love states:

“When I talk about loving ourselves, I mean having a deep appreciation for who we are. We accept all the different parts of ourselves—our little peculiarities, the embarrassments, the things we may not do so well, and all the wonderful qualities, too.”

She makes a good point, in that the first step in having self esteem is to accept ourselves as we are; for all the good things and the bad things. Of course, we can work to improve on the less than perfect areas - but we don’t “have to” in order to be worthy. We can be perfectly imperfect and still deserve love, respect and kindness from both ourselves and other people.

When we start to love ourselves as we are, rather than for how we feel we “should be” or need to be (i.e. many people feel the need to achieve huge things in order to feel good about themselves) we are free to live our lives. Without this feeling of self love, self worth and self esteem, we are trapped in an insecure state where we often don’t feel good enough… and our life suffers as a result of this lack of confidence in our own ability and belief in the good in who we are.
*Please note that this is a collaborative post*

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