Sunday, 17 September 2017

Teen Talk: Going All The Way

 Today's post is going to be something a little different to what I'd normally write about. I'm all for discussing taboo topics, but this is something that I think about, more than I speak about it.
For any 16 year old in the UK, there is an incredibly high chance that they will understand where I'm coming from, and there's an even higher chance that they can relate in one way, or another.
What I'm talking about is the societal pressure of engaging in sexual behaviour, and losing your virginity. It's legal to become sexually active at the age of 16 in the UK, and although many people do 'it' before, regardless of the reason, there is still a large amount of us that don't feel ready, or haven't. The 16+ year olds that are yet to have sex.
I have had 1 boyfriend before, but he was 2 years younger than me, and neither of us were particularly interested in that sort of thing at the time. We'd much rather have just enjoyed each others company, and chilled out whenever we were together. It's a fact of life that boys take longer to mature than girls, and as the years have gone on, and I've been around more people, I can definitely see that in some respect.
In my personal opinion, it's absolutely essential that when growing up, you talk to as many different people as you can. Of course, some of them are going to be complete assholes, and they're going to be as toxic as anything. You will feel all these negative emotions at the time, but realistically, you're then going to recognise what you want to avoid in the future, and you will grow from the experiences. You're allowed to flirt whilst you're young, and carefree. You're allowed to do sexual things with other people without feeling guilt, or shame. You're allowed to send explicit texts, and images, as long as everyone involved feels happy, and comfortable. You're allowed to have regrets, and wish you hadn't done certain things. Boys, and girls, are allowed to feel anxious, and unsure when it comes to sexual thoughts, and behaviour. They are also allowed to feel passionate, and positive. There's nothing to be ashamed about, whether you perceive it to be positive, or negative.
Just because I'm 16 years old, and have been for 6 months now, it doesn't mean I want to have sex. It doesn't mean I want to meet up with loads of guys, and flirt with them after 5 seconds. Having said that, there's absolutely nothing wrong if there are people who do want to do that, as we all have desires, and fantasies. I've flirted with, and fancied quite a few guys now, and at the moment, I'm quite content with just talking to them if the opportunity comes up, and seeing how things go. The truth is, there is no rush.
Society places a huge amount of pressure on young people. Boys are expected to sleep with loads of girls, which he then gets rated, and applauded for. He's seen as cool, and desirable if he sends pictures of his private parts to whoever he can find on his Snapchat list. There are probably many boys out there who don't want to do that. They would rather wait for the right girl, or at least wait until their in a relationship. That's completely okay.
Nobody should be called 'frigid', or pathetic for not wanting to do something. Being a virgin isn't something to be afraid, or ashamed of. So what if everyone is going to a party, and getting off with people, whilst you're sitting at home, eating Cadbury's chocolate, and watching Netflix? It doesn't matter! Half of the time, others will claim to have had sex, but they are probably just as apprehensive about the whole thing as you are. Wait until the right person comes along. They will respect you for it. Being in school/college/Uni usually means that everyone wants to know everyone else's business, but you don't have to talk about anything if you don't feel comfortable doing so. You don't have to conform to society's expectations. You do whatever you feel is right, and follow your heart. Sex, and sending nudes won't mean anything in the long run, once you're out of that environment, unless you genuinely want to engage in those things, which again, you shouldn't be shamed for.
I'm a 16 year old girl, who is just going to do whatever I want to do, without trying to please anybody else, or attempt to look cool. When the right person comes along, I know I'll be thankful to my 16 year old self for waiting, as it'll be 100% worth it.
How do you feel about societal pressures surrounding sex? Would you rather wait?
Lots of love always,


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