Friday, 30 June 2017

The Time Has Come To Say Goodbye..


It's now been just over a week since I had my last GCSE exam - ever. Although the days usually go slowly whilst at school, looking back on my time makes me realise that the years really do fly by without anybody even batting an eyelid until it's too late.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and make out like the whole 5 years were the best times of my life. That would be quite a large exaggeration to say the least. Having said that, each moment and each year was a part of the experience and I guess it wouldn't be the same if anything had changed.
Year 7-9 were probably the hardest years, as I wasn't coping that well as I had an awful lot going on in my mind, which, paired with bullying, didn't help matters. I felt incredibly isolated and I'd push myself away from people, just because I didn't know how to cope with social situations or conversations.
However, once my GCSE's had begun towards the end of Year 9, things gradually started to improve. I got more involved with my group of girl friends and I began to let my hair down a little. I wasn't so afraid of going in every day anymore. I had people who could make me smile and laugh. I had people that I felt wouldn't judge me when I ate my lunch (even though nobody really cared anyway). Even though there were still down days, I just felt accepted and like I actually belonged within a group.
Year 10 and 11 were the best years out of my entire journey in secondary school. I was doing subjects that I enjoyed and although they did get slightly boring towards the end of certain modules, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have changed them. I got to spend more time having a laugh with my friends and I also proved to myself that I was capable of talking to new people and stepping out of my comfort zone. I worked really hard throughout these 2 years in particular and it's surreal that I've had my last day of Year 11 and my last exam!
Despite the fact the school itself wasn't always a positive, welcoming environment, I tried my best to be positive each day. I was happy to take risks, I was happy to challenge myself and I was happy to put 100% into my studying in preparation for the final exams.
My main friendship group consisted of Zahirah, Nadia, Tara, Megan and Immy. We never really got involved with the rest of our year, because we were happy just standing around and cracking our own jokes. We may have referred to ourselves as the loners for 99.9% of the time, but honestly, it just made my time at school that bit more special.
I'm planning on going back in September to join the Sixth Form to do Psychology and Health and Social Care. It's an anxious wait until I get my GCSE grades on the 24th August, but I know I tried my best and that's all that matters. Whatever happens will happen and I'm prepared to accept the results for what they are.
Secondary school has taught me many things over the 5 years. It's taught me to have faith and confidence in myself, to take a risk and challenge myself in anyway that I can, even if it's an uncomfortable choice at first, to smile and speak to everyone that I meet when possible, to work hard for my dreams and it's also taught me to be more vigilant with who I trust, but to never judge people upon their appearance/first impressions. Yes, first impressions are important, but there's usually more to a person and their character than what initially meets the eye.
I probably won't miss my secondary school all that much, unless I'm reminiscing with others or listening to certain songs/thinking of certain memories. That doesn't mean I won't forget it though. I'll still miss the little things. My crazy BTEC Business lessons with Mr Bhura, where I'd mess around with Jess and where everyone else would completely lose their maturity and turn into giggly little children again. I'll also miss Citizenship lessons with Jess from Year 11, because we didn't get on particularly well in those as far as learning went, but we had a laugh and got completely side-tracked most of the time! I'll miss my English class, because although we were top set and the expectations were set pretty high, I do think we all got along really well and there was never really an unproductive moment. I'll miss Year 11 Science lessons with Tara, as we always went off topic and had such a laugh to the point where we became hysterical and the supply teacher would often walk over wondering what's going on! I'll miss Geography lessons (not the teacher though), because we hardly did any work during Year 11, but myself, Tara and Nadia were sat together and there was just endless chatter and jokes. It definitely helped get us through the hour and a half lessons every Monday afternoon! The same can be said with the girls for Health and Social lessons, particularly the double every Wednesday, because we did work really hard, but we had a laugh with our teacher who I bloody adore ( shout out to you Miss!), so it was the best of both worlds really.
The last thing I can think of that I'm sad about being over is PE. I know, I know, I never thought I'd say that, but honestly, Maisie completely saved me during those days. We got through it together and it was our chance to have a weekly gossip!
Whether I've given you a special mention in this post or not, it doesn't mean that you're any less important to me. In fact, regardless of whether we talked everyday or if we just made small talk during lessons, you have still been a part of my journey and I'm never going to forget any of you or the memories that we created together.
It may be the end of this chapter, but there's so many more opportunities to come and so many other chapters just waiting to be opened come September.
Lots of love always,


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