Monday, 5 September 2016

Back To School Advice


As you're reading this post, I will have officially completed 4 hours of Year 11 already. That's quite a crazy thought, even for me to process! Surprisingly, it wasn't actually half as bad, or as stressful as I had convinced myself it would be. However, I know that's not the case for a lot of people, and I'm sure that as the weeks go on, I'll become overwhelmed with exam practise, and I'll be drowning in past papers.

So, today I'm going to be doing a back to school related collab. I know you probably don't want to accept the fact that waking up early, and studying is back in full swing, and neither do I either - but, that's just the way life has to be for now, until we're old enough to leave education full time. Myself and the gorgeous Hollie teamed up to bring you the best advice that we could think of to make your secondary school/sixth form years more enjoyable. Over on her blog, Hollie has given you her top tips for starting A Levels, and over here on my side of the blogosphere, I'm going to be giving you my advice on bitchiness, and friendships. Believe me, I know what I'm talking about when it comes to these 2 topics! Without rambling on more than is necessary, I'm just going to get on with it..

Bitchiness
 
Anyone that's ever been part of a school environment will understand just how common bitchiness is. I don't think there's any school in the world that doesn't have those stereotypical cliques, girl groups, and Regina George type leaders. Mark my word when I say I know these situations all too well. I've been enrolled in the schooling system for 11 years now, and it hasn't changed one bit. There will always be horrible people. There will always be those girls, who think they're better than everyone else. There will always be those boys, who think they're cool, just because of how many girls they can pull a week.
Over the years, I've learnt how to deal with it in an effective way, so hopefully some of you will take my words of wisdom to help you through your own struggles.
 
DON'T EVER RETALIATE UNLESS NECESSARY
 
Take this advice from personal experience. I've seen many situations at school before, and when other people retaliate, it only ever causes more trouble. If someone is trying to pick a fight, or tear you down for some reason, then the worst thing that you could do is shout back at them. It will only add fuel to the fire, after all. Instead, just calmly, and rationally explain your side of the story to them. Take deep breaths, and try to resolve the issue, rather than add to it. If you feel it's necessary, then raise your voice a little louder, and make sure you get heard, but don't ever resort to punching, and kicking if you can help it. Just be the bigger person. Ideally, you should take them, and whoever else is involved away to the side, so you don't have a huge crowd egging the argument on. Be the person that people admire, and applaud.
 
REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT
 
If certain individuals are bullying you, or trying to put you down, you need to try, and convince yourself that you're the opposite of everything they're saying. If they're saying that you're a freak, and you have no friends, then keep telling yourself that it's not true. If they're saying you're ugly, and worthless, then make more of a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive people, and try to find, and focus on your traits, rather than your flaws. They are only giving you hate, because you have something that they don't, or they feel insecure within themselves, so they want other people to feel insecure too, as it may give them a sense of more power, and control.
 
Friendships
 
Friends can be hard to make, and sometimes they can be even harder to keep. I've never been the sort of girl that's friends with everyone, but I don't mind it that way. I'm kind to those that I meet, and that's more important than how many people like me, in my opinion. I think that teenagers are often very judgemental without necessarily meaning to be, and that's why it can become more difficult to actually maintain the friendships that you have built up. Now, not everyone is going to like you. I'm pretty sure that's a given. Some people really care about the opinions of others, whereas some people couldn't care less. Going from someone who had no friends, to someone who now has quite a few friends, my tips will hopefully help some of you to become more confident when talking to new people.
 
DON'T BE AFRAID TO START CONVERSATIONS
 
Something that I've never been the best at is starting up conversations with people. I've always been fairly quiet in social situations, and I struggle when it comes to thinking of things to say. As I've grown up, experienced new things, and been around new people, I've gotten a lot better, because it's something that I've just gradually learned to adapt to. If you see someone that looks friendly, and approachable, then I think you should just try, and start up a conversation with them. Smile, and make small talk at first. It never fails! If the person on the receiving end seems happy, and comfortable chatting to you, then just work from there, and see where it goes.
 
SAY YES, EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO AT FIRST
 
Stepping out of our comfort zone is never easy. It's a real challenge, hence why people hardly do it at all. However, you'd be surprised at how far you can go if you just say yes more often. If someone invites you out to go shopping, then say yes. You may be apprehensive, and you may prefer a quiet day in watching Netflix, but hey - you can do that any day. If you keep saying no, people may give up with inviting you places, and then you'll end up feeling rubbish. Obviously, don't do anything if you really don't want to, but pushing yourself to socialise will never end too badly. If you do end up in a situation that you don't want to be in, then just go home, or speak up! Honestly, you will only regret it in the long run once you see what you have been missing out on.
 
All in all, I'd just say that friendships aren't everything. They will often come, and go during this stage of life, but you just have to put in effort, show them support, and be patient. You will eventually meet those people that are destined to be your life long friends. You still have years ahead of you, so don't worry if you feel lonely right now. It won't always be that way, I promise!
 
How do you feel about bitchiness, and friendships? Have I helped you at all?
 
Lots of love,
 
Jade xo
 
 

 

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