Wednesday, 23 March 2016

Teenage Thoughts // Collab

Hi everyone! I have another collab for you all today and this time it's with the lovely Bethan from Although I haven't been speaking to her for that long, she honestly is such a kind girl and her blog is just incredible! I adore reading all of her posts and if I'm honest, she deserves way more followers than she has, so please go and check her out. I'm pretty sure you will love her just as much as I do! Well, almost.
We decided that we wanted to do a collab post, but we didn't really know what sort of topic we wanted to cover, until she came up with a really nice idea. She decided that we could do a post on teenager thoughts, where we explain a couple of thoughts or worries that most teenagers typically have and then we could give examples of scenarios from personal experiences that we have had to do with them. She then decided that she didn't really feel as though she wanted to talk about that topic, which I completely understood as a fellow blogger and so instead of that, she is going to do a post about how to make the most of your day instead!
I know, I know. I'm being a typical teenager and I'm talking about relationships. Oh well! I guess that goes to show that literally every single teenager is affected by them in one way or another. It's unfortunate, but that's just the way it is. I'm not even talking about official relationships here. I'm talking about 'crushes', falling in love, broken hearts, rejection AND relationships. Oh yeah. I'm talking about it allll.
I don't really think it gets much easier as you get older. I had boy problems when I was 12 years old and I still have them now that I'm 15 years old. Personally, I believe that there's 2 types of girls. There's the ones who are extremely confident, who are always willing to talk to any boy that they find attractive or who alternatively finds them attractive. They seem like the perfect girl to most of us. Do they really get attention off every single boy?
Then there's the girls who are like how I used to be. Terrified at the thought of even making eye contact with a boy, let alone approaching them and going out with them. That was literally me all throughout primary school and the first 2 years of high school. There wasn't even a particular reason, but I guess during our teenage years, we feel particularly self-conscious of ourselves, even when half the time, we are amazing just how we are!
Many of us fear that we aren't good enough, whether we're a boy or a girl. It's so important to remember that just because we have certain perceptions of ourselves, it doesn't mean that they are the truth and it doesn't mean that other people agree with us.
As I said, I was always one of the quieter girls, who didn't really talk to boys all that much. Not in a romantic way or in any other way really. It can feel incredibly isolating and you can feel like you're one of the only girls who doesn't get any attention or any appreciation from boys your age. You may feel like they don't notice you - but honestly, that isn't the case at all.
In February 2014, I met a boy whilst I was in the park with one of my friends. I guess after that first time that I met him, I kinda lost all contact with him until later on that year. We did have a lot of memories together and most of them were incredible. I really did feel that we had a strong relationship. However, as time goes on, unfortunately things change. I'm not saying that change is always a bad thing, but in my situation, it was. I guess you could say he did kind of break my heart. Quite a lot. I really did care about him and I tried my best to be what he wanted. It's just that sometimes, as much as we want to be enough for someone, that just isn't possible. After 2 and a half years of constantly talking to the same person and putting them before pretty much anyone and everything else, you won't be able to just cut them off straight away like they meant nothing. But, I do promise you that it is possible to move on.
Over the past few weeks I've had a real reality check and I've realised that it's probably not the most ideal situation to be in and it also really isn't getting me anywhere. This is why I've made the decision to cut him off. I was clinging to him for so long, because I simply didn't want to let go of everything that we had, but over the past few weeks, I've realised that I can't keep going on like this and it's time to let go. To find someone else.
I have been a lot happier these past few weeks - I honestly have. I'm beginning to adapt and during this process, I'm also beginning to learn that I honestly should stop caring so much. It's only been hurting me more and more each time that I thought about it.
Don't worry, I do have a point here. I'm not just blabbing on for no reason!
The whole point of that explanation was that it's okay. It's all okay. Whether you like someone, whether you're in a relationship, whether you are going through a breakup - it's all okay. Love is complicated and as much as we fantasise over how perfect we wish everything could be, it simply can't always be that way. It can get messy. It can break your heart. It can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, regretful and devastated. Maybe just one of them. Maybe all of them at the same time over the same person.
I have been cheated on. I have been lied to. I have been used. I have had my feelings played with. I have been messed about continuously. But, I have also been careful. Careful of opening up, careful of trusting people, careful of showing people who I really am deep down. I'm never fake, but I'm just a little less revealing than some.
However your situation is in regards to relationships, just remember that it will always work out okay in the end. In 10, 20 years time, you may not even remember your current boyfriend or girlfriend, but that doesn't matter. They were an experience and they came into your life during that moment for a reason. Maybe you grew apart. Maybe you were destined to find someone better.
Whatever happens and no matter how things have been for you or how things are for you, just remember that you are strong enough to fight through anything. You will pull through. Don't ever, ever allow anyone to make you feel threatened, forced into things, used, worthless or anything else, which could lead to negative self-destructive consequences.
When it comes to relationships, I have actually been through quite a few things that I'm sure that some of you can relate to. I just want to say now that you should be very careful when talking to someone that you haven't met before. Regardless of how old they claim to be, it doesn't always mean that they are telling the truth. There are many kind people in the world, but there are also many nasty people who would do anything within their power to hurt others. I wouldn't suggest that you meet someone if you have only been talking to them for a day or even a week. I just don't feel that it's safe and I would hate to know that any of you had been put in danger. Make sure you properly know a person before agreeing to meet them or agreeing to begin a relationship with them. You can never be too cautious when it comes to your health and your safety. If someone is forcing you into things that make you feel uncomfortable or you begin to feel threatened or targeted by them, then please speak up. You can always contact me, a friend, a teacher, a family member, a helpline - anyone that you can think of. You can't allow anyone to make you feel inferior, no matter if you're just talking, catching feelings or actually together. Be with someone who makes you feel safe, comfortable, content and loved.
Whatever situation you are in right now when it comes to relationships, I just want you to know that you will be okay. They can be very difficult and they can cause you to feel a whole variety of different emotions, but everything always works out okay in the end. Take everything with a pinch of salt and treat it as one of many experiences that you will have throughout the teenage years of your life. You are only young once and you shouldn't let anybody, whether they mean something to you romantically or not, ruin that. Always try to remain calm, truthful, respectful and understanding. Do what you think is best.
Whatever is meant to be will be, so try not to overthink too much right now.
If you haven't had a boyfriend or girlfriend yet, then please don't worry or think that this makes you worthless. It doesn't, not at all. You are just as important as those who have had relationships. Your time will come and until then focus on bettering yourself as an individual and making your life the best it possibly can be with those who are currently around you. Some people may be 13, some may be 18 and others may be 25 or older. It does not matter. At all. The same goes for having your first kiss or losing your virginity.
Take your time. Make sure you don't regret any of your decisions and never let anyone force you into anything. No matter how much you think you love them, if they love you, they will respect your choices and wait until you are ready. Please do remember that.
Seeing as this post is already quite lengthy (I do like to ramble..), I thought I'd talk about one other thing that's very important to teenagers who may be a little older. In England, every student begins their GCSE's (General Certificate of Secondary Education) when they are around 13-14, usually during the middle to the end of Year 9. When I initially started the process of choosing my options, I genuinely didn't know what I wanted to do. I mean, the 13-14 year old version of yourself is being asked to make fairly large decisions based on your future. That can be incredibly daunting and it can lead you to feel slightly out of your comfort zone, but every teenager has to go through it! After a lot of debating and talking with my mum whilst looking through the booklet of options, I had a rough idea that I wanted to take History, Geography, Business Studies and Health & Social Care. However, after I got told that I couldn't take both History and Geography, therefore meaning that I had to pick another subject, I went into panic mode all over again.
I then decided that I wanted to take Graphic Design instead of History, since I was adamant that I was going to be taking the other 3 no matter what happened. To this day, I believe that I have made the right decision and I think that's so important when picking which GCSE's you would like to be taking for the next 2 and a bit years of your life.
Despite the fact that I had genuinely wanted to take History, as I had a great interest in it, I'm now relieved that it hadn't worked out for me, because I've had much more of an interest and a connection to Graphics instead. That just goes to show that everything truly does happen for a reason, whether you believe it at first or not.
Based on personal experience, I think that you should always pick the subjects that you think will help you grow the most and will benefit you the most in the future, even if you don't really know what you want to do and I think you should also pick the ones that you genuinely like and feel that you have an interest is. Take other people's thoughts and opinions into consideration, but never let them drown out your own. If you don't feel passionate towards your options, then there would be no point in you taking them.
Ultimately, I believe that your GCSE'S are the foundation of your education. They are important and they do act as the starting point on the ladder of your future, but they aren't the be all and end all. Ever since you start towards the end of Year 9, the pressure and the fear is there right up until you sit your exams at the end of Year 11. Year 10 and 11 do get progressively harder as time goes on. I know that, because I'm halfway through Year 10 now and I'm already beginning to worry about the end of Year 11 and what the outcome may be. As long as you always try your best, revise as much as you can, ask as many questions as you need to whilst you have the opportunity and take your future into consideration all at the same time, you will be just fine. All of your teachers and the members of staff are there for you and they do care about your education and your future. They will push you, they will nag and they will challenge you, but they will also be there to show you, support you and answer any questions or concerns that you may have.
I will be doing a separate blog post on revision tips & tricks or anything else that you may want to see, but honestly, all you can do is try your very best and push yourself.
Never leave homework, coursework or revision to the last minute. Try not to miss too much school, particularly once you have actually started Year 10 & 11. Always, always listen and ask questions. Get everything school related out the way and then reward yourself by going out with your friends or family and having as much fun as you want.
I wish you all the very best of luck throughout your educational journey, but I have the utmost faith in every single one of you that you will all do incredibly well.
Thank you so much for reading this blog post and I really hope it helped some of you! Please make sure to go and check out Bethan's blog post, which is targeted towards anyone who wants to learn how to make the most out of their day. You can also follow her if you wish. I would highly recommend that you do, as she's an incredible, lovely girl, who's a very close friend of mine and if you like my blog, you will most definitely adore hers!
*Think positive, because thoughts are like the steering wheel that moves our life in the right direction*
Lots of love,
Jade x

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