Sunday, 27 March 2016

All About Happiness


I think that one of the most important things in life is happiness. There are a huge amount of people in today's generation that are so unhappy and so damaged, which really does break my heart. So many of us are attempting suicide and harming ourselves, because we feel like the world doesn't accept us for who we are and we don't believe that there is anyway that we can find joy, not even in the little things. Innocent lives are being taken away due to the society that we live in. This is unacceptable and this can't go on.

Today I'm going to be talking about ways that you can all try to add a little more positivity into your day to day life. I'll be talking a bit about how I personally remain positive, but I'll also be sharing tips on how you can do the same, regardless of your background story.

Without meaning to sound vain, I like to think that I'm quite a positive, cheerful person. Whenever someone compliments me about my attitude or my mind set, I always feel so honoured that they actually notice! I do think I've always been this way, ever since I can remember. I usually have a smile on my face and I'm always the first to notice when someone else is feeling down. I do have bad days and I have gone through particularly dark, unpleasant stages, where I haven't felt like being cheerful, but that's okay. We are all human and we are all allowed to go through difficulties, as that's just the way life is.

In order to remain positive and to keep a smile on my face, I try to focus on having a good outlook on life. This is particularly important, because you won't ever get anywhere if you're always dwelling on the negative things that make you unhappy. By having a good outlook, you will become much more aware of the little things that life has to offer. Try to appreciate the fact that the sun is shining or the fact that you are healthy and well.
It doesn't always mean that a miracle has to have happened in order for you to smile. If you become more conscious of the smaller things, like nature or your friends and family, you will soon realise that they are actually the things that have the largest impact on your self-esteem. I completely understand that some people may not have the greatest of home lives. Some of you may be abused, bullied, neglected or you may be experiencing something else equally as horrific. You can still be happy though. Happiness is a choice and you should wake up each day, accepting that choice and making the most of it.

I understand that all of us experience difficulties throughout our lives. Whether they are big, or small, they are all just as significant. If something is on your mind all, or most of the time, then it's clearly affecting you and that issue needs to be sorted out as soon as possible, before it gets any worse. Sometimes we may go through horrendous things, such as break-ups, family meltdowns, bullying, or mental illnesses. Those are just some examples. During the moment, it may seem like it's impossible to ever get through the battle and it can seem almost impossible. You may shut down completely. You may feel helpless, worthless, lonely, or even as though you wish to take your own life. All of those emotions that you're feeling are valid and they really do matter, but it doesn't mean that any of them have to be the true reality of the situation. As your initial reaction, you can allow yourself a day, or two to acknowledge those feelings. You can be alone if you want to, or you can ask for someone close to you to come and support you during that moment. You can have a cry, indulge in your favourite type of comfort food, whether it be ice-cream, chocolate, fried chicken, popcorn, chips, or anything else, watch some films and genuinely just feel quite sorry for yourself. I think it's important to recognise that you deserve some time in which you can allow yourself to feel this way. There's no point in allowing those emotions to build up, as eventually they will get so high that you will feel consumed by them and it will only make matters once when you eventually let them go.
As hard as it may be, you should always try confiding in someone you trust, because a problem shared is a problem halved, as the saying goes and you will feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulder too. I do think that it's important to tackle the negative aspects of your life and acknowledge them, so then you can move on through better, more positive ways.

I'm now going to tell you all some of the ways that you can add a little more happiness into your life:

Find a hobby that you genuinely enjoy - Whether it's reading, writing, music, blogging, singing, dancing, sport, gaming, or another sort of passion. I truly believe that everyone is passionate about something, but it just takes time to figure out what it actually is. As I've said before, I feel that my main passion is helping people, tackling mental health, and blogging. By having my own blog, I can actually do all of them things and more. I do have other hobbies, but I would definitely say that this is the main one for me and it's also the one that I feel I get the most fulfilment out of. There are many people who are fighting their own battles that others may not even know anything about. I fought my own battles for a while in silence and I'm not saying that's always a bad thing. If you feel that you can cope on your own, then that's absolutely fine. It's just that everyone feels like they need someone to open up to sometimes. That doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you're weak at all. I just think that if you have a hobby, something that you're truly passionate about, you will always have something, or a few things that you can turn to either for comfort, or to cheer yourself up, even just for a little while. Trust me, it does help!

Open up to genuine, trustworthy people - This is a really difficult one. I completely understand that some of you may be reading this and you may be thinking "Oh wow, no way am I going to open up to anyone!". I feel like that at times too. But, think of it this way. If you don't open up to at least one person in the world, then how will you ever receive advice, or support? We all need someone sometimes. Even the strongest of soldiers have a breaking point. If there is even one person within your life, who you genuinely can trust, whether it's a parent, a family member, a friend, a helpline, a teacher, a neighbour, or anybody else, please do take advantage of that opportunity.
There are people out there who are willing to help you. Not because they feel sorry for you, not because they have nothing better to do; but, because they genuinely care.
I get the fact that you feel you may be bothering them, but honestly, if they are asking you, it means they're concerned and you shouldn't be afraid to open up. If you don't feel comfortable, then don't feel as though you have to do it, but it's just something that you could consider. Talking always helps me and it helps to see things from another person's perspective, who may not have anything to do with the situation, which will actually benefit you even more. If you feel as though you have nobody to talk to, then you can always talk to me. Please remember that. I will never judge and I will always keep everything 100% confidential, just between the two of us. I will try my best to help too.
Just keep your circle small and be careful with who actually do trust. People can be deceiving. Don't be too much of a fool to the point where you can't see a fake friend from a real one. I genuinely do mean that in the nicest way possible, believe me.

Build up your self-esteem - Low self-esteem can be such a huge issue for so many people, particularly if you're going through your teenage years. It can be so difficult to feel as though you fit in with society and the media can also put a lot of pressure on you. There are so many things which can lower your self-esteem. Relationship break-ups, putting on weight, losing friends, family fall outs - anything can be a reason as to why you have low self-esteem. However, there are ways that you can combat it. Stick positive quotes around your mirror, have a happiness book, or a memory box full of happy things, which you can look at whenever you're feeling low, or unmotivated, or even just surround yourself with those who make you feel like a genuinely loved, appreciated person. I guess it can take quite a lot of time to build up your self-esteem. As time goes on, you become much more able to accept yourself as you are. Your flaws are what make you stand out and instead of thinking that they make you ugly, or worthless, think of them as being your unique attributes. The people that love you will think you're beautiful no matter what and they probably wouldn't even notice the things that you consider to be flaws. You only pick them out, because we, as humans, constantly over-analyse every little detail about ourselves until we find flaws anyway!

Recognise your purpose in life - As I've briefly mentioned before, I believe that we all have a purpose; a reason to be on this Earth, if you will. I'm sure many of you are already aware, but I feel like my purpose is to help other people and help them to find their purpose too. I feel like writing a blog really does allow me to do both of them things. People don't necessarily read my blog purely for advice. They may also read it simply for the enjoyment, or the pleasure that they get out of it. I'm not trying to sound vain when I talk about my blog in this way, but I'm just explaining the different possibilities. I still don't really know myself why people seem to enjoy reading my blog and I've been doing it for almost a year now! Crazy right? I'd like to think I help some people. It really is such a huge compliment when people tell me I have actually done just that and I feel so honoured to be able to touch the lives of many, even if it's just in a small way. For some of you, you may feel that your purpose lies within the performing arts industry, or maybe you're into writing. How about sport? Catering? There are so many different paths you could go down. You just need to recognise where your full potential lies and then you will be able to say that you have recognised your purpose in life. Having a purpose can make you feel like you have a reason to live. I, for one, think that's incredibly important. Even if you haven't found what your reason is, just understand that I love you. I love you and I believe that your purpose is to simply live and enjoy life. Being alive is a gift. Don't take that gift for granted, or wish for things to be any other way. Your place on this Earth is special and the world wouldn't be the same if it didn't have you in it. So please. Don't ever feel like you are a mistake.

I'm going to wrap this post up here, as I feel like it's already super long! I really do hope it's helped some of you. That's why I blog. Not only do I enjoy it and feel as though it's a passion of mine, but I really do just want to help people. I know that life can seem incredibly dark and challenging at times, but I'm here to help you through, so that you can find the light at the end of the tunnel. Whatever you are going through right now, I'm only on the other side of the screen. It may feel like a million miles away, but it isn't, not really. We are all a part of this same 'Simply Jadey' community! We're like one large, happy family. Regardless of what you're going through right now, whether you're being abused at home, bullied, battling with mental illnesses, self-harming, fighting suicidal thoughts, experiencing a break-up, grieving the loss of a loved one, or anything else. I'm here. I'm right here. You're welcome to read my blog whenever you like. I'm sending each of you a huge hug and lots of love, glitter, sparkles and strength. You may feel weak. You may be struggling to stay strong for yourself. So, I will stay strong for all of you too.

You will get through this. Whatever it is. I promise you. I believe in you.
Imagine with all your mind. Believe with all your heart. Achieve with all your might
Lots of love,
Jade x


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