Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Getting To Know Me

I've already done quite a lot of 'get to know me' posts, if I'm being honest. If you have been a follower of mine for quite a while, then you will already know that.
My blog is incredibly personal to me. I share a lot about my life on here, not knowing who's reading, or judging me behind the screen. I intentionally share this much, both about my experiences with things and my thoughts on the things that I'm the most passionate about. I blog, so that I'm able to have an outlet, which is like a hobby to me and I like knowing that I'm able to talk about whatever I wish, whilst hopefully impacting people's lives at the same time. It's not a career at all - it's simply something that I want to do during my free time and I can't see that changing any time soon.
As I've already mentioned, I have done quite a lot of 'get to know me posts' already, because I do want all of you to know me as much as possible (obviously within reason), but I wanted to do something similar, yet a little different at the same time today.
So many bloggers and youtubers always do tags, which are essentially themselves answering a bunch of questions, but I really don't think that's very interesting at all. I would rather just go into detail about specific facts, rather than bombard you with loads that probably don't even interest you at all.
I'm going to start off by being extremely honest. I'm always honest, no matter what post I'm writing, but I feel like with these more personal ones, I have to be extra honest, if that makes any sense whatsoever. I also tend to ramble a lot more, so if you like rambly posts, then this is the one for you!
I have only ever had one 'proper' relationship. The reason I say 'proper' in a way that seems like I'm being sarcastic is because I believe that we all have different views on what the word proper actually means. For some people, they may consider a proper relationship to be one that lasts more than 1 week, whereas for others, their opinion may be completely different and they may consider a proper relationship to be one which lasts for months. I'd say that I count as part of the latter. I have liked quite a lot of people throughout the years, but half of them, I don't feel any attraction to anymore, and I can't even remember why I even thought they were semi attractive in the first place! The thing is, as far as I'm aware, none of them ever really liked me back to the point where they would have had a relationship with me during that time. Well, we were like 11 or 12, but I suppose that's besides the point. I guess I just got really upset back then, because I was quite a few years younger compared to how I am now, and I felt almost envious of other girls that I knew, because they all seemed to be so lusted after and so loved up. I now realise that it probably wasn't love at all, because half of the 'couples' don't talk anymore either, but that's just the way life works I guess. People come and go, but that's okay. I guess you just learn to adapt in the end, because you eventually get used to it.
I'm currently in quite a difficult situation. I don't want to talk about it too much, because I don't feel that comfortable just yet, but I do want to touch on it briefly, as some of you may be going through something similar and it may be helpful for you to know that you aren't alone in your struggles.
Sometimes, when we are in a relationship, we can become almost consumed by the whole idea of it and knowing that we always have another person to hang out with can make us feel all kinds of emotions, both good and bad. I know that when I'm in a relationship, I can become quite attached and overwhelmed, because I get so content with the thought that another person is always going to be there for me and I like to know that I'm their special person and they are mine. It gives me a sense of comfort and stability, you know? Whilst you are in that relationship, it can all seem so perfect - more so than you could have ever imagined. This feeling can last for weeks, months, years; it can last for an incredibly long time. I think that from the very beginning, right when you start talking to someone, you have to allow yourself to enter a certain mind-set. You have to understand that things could take a turn - either positively, or negatively. You could end up with this other person for the rest of your life, regardless of your age, or gender and you could literally have one argument throughout the entire time that you are with them. Literally, everything could be near enough perfect. That would be ideal, don't you think?
However, it doesn't always work out this way. In the beginning, things can seem as if they are going really well. You may get on like two peas in a pod. There may be no arguments, no disagreements, nothing, but love and affection. Then, as time goes on, things may change. You may begin arguing over nothing, or something that seems insignificant. You may start being blunt with each other. You may not know what to say anymore. You may even find out that you have been cheated on without any clue at all that anything was going on with someone else. It may happen more than once. You could end it with that person and lose all respect for them. Or, you could take them back, again and again and again. You may find that you don't want to let them go. You may find that life seems unbearable without the thought of them being there to give you a cuddle whenever your spirits need lifting. You may feel that you have no hope of ever loving anyone else.
And that is okay. That is completely okay. You are allowed to still love the person who cheated on you repeatedly. You are allowed to still love the person who broke up with you 2 years ago. You are allowed to feel the way you feel. No matter what other people think, or say. If you love a person, regardless of how they have, or do treat you, then it's completely your decision as to what you do and how you choose to go about the situation. Of course, it's completely unacceptable for someone to treat you like that with such little disrespect, but if you still love them, then you can't help that and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself either. Having said that, I would suggest trying to distract yourself for the time being. If someone is cheating on you, or if you love someone, who doesn't feel the same, or even if you just don't feel ready for a relationship with a particular person, then try doing other things whilst you are working out what to do with your situation. Spend time with friends and family, talk to other people of the same gender that you are interested in, look after yourself and most importantly, do the things that you enjoy.
As hard as it may be, just try to do anything but think of the person that you love. I know it can be heart breaking, I really do, but sometimes, it just has to be done for the sake of your own sanity. I know how cliché it sounds, but things do get easier eventually. If you spend your time doing other things and you spend a little while away from that certain individual, then you will be able to get a clearer perspective once you have thought about it all. Take in what other people are saying, as they are saying it for a reason most of the time, but make sure that you always pick what's best for you and what makes you happy.
After that massive ramble, I guess I just wanted to say I'm actually quite a sensitive, deep person. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, but I really do care about other people and how they are feeling, so I always want to try and help in whatever way I can. I would go out of my way just to make sure another person is feeling better than they were before I started speaking to them. That's another reason why I write blog posts. As much as I like to talk about beauty and fashion and all that jazz, I also like to connect to a large variety of different people on a much more personal level, as I don't feel like there's enough of that in the world right now. I really like to do advice posts, where I can just chat about my past experiences and try to help people with different situations, but I also like to talk generally about issues and my thoughts on certain things as well, so it's quite a mixture really! My advice posts and the ones where I delve deeper into life issues also prove to be some of the most popular, which I actually find incredibly touching. I know that may sound weird to some, but I get such nice comments about them, both from people I know in real life and people that just know me through reading my blog. It really is so sweet and every single comment means the world to me. My biggest dream in life is to be able to help others and make sure that they feel as though they have a purpose in this world.
Leading on from that, I would love to be able to create music and books and maybe even videos for people in the future. I know those are quite extravagant dreams, but I do believe that anything can happen, so I will try my best to make sure that they do someday. I just want to touch people's hearts with the words that I write and one day, maybe I can travel the world in an attempt to physically help those struggling too.
We all have our own dreams. And this is mine.
Lots of love,
Jade x


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