Wednesday, 14 October 2015

An Insight Into My Life II

*Hello you lovely lot! I'm so happy to finally be sitting down and writing up a proper blog post. It's only been a few days, but I feel like I haven't done it in years. The reason why I feel this way is because I have been incredibly busy lately with school, and various other random commitments. I'm doing my first year of GCSE's at the moment, and the workload is very heavy, and very much full on all of the time. As soon as I complete one piece of coursework, something else crops up, or another task is set. It's like a never-ending cycle at the moment, and I'm trying my best to keep on top of it, which means that blogging has been taking a bit of a backseat. However, having said that, I really am enjoying blogging at the moment, and I have a list of ideas that I hope to create very shortly. I do apologise for not posting at times, but sometimes, it all just gets a little too much. If I don't have any inspiration, or motivation, I'm not going to write, let alone post, as it wouldn't feel like I was being true to myself, or any of you, but I do schedule my posts, and I'm trying my best, so yeah!*

Anyway, how about we get onto the actual point of this post now? Let's jump right into it, shall we?!
Last week, I put up a post that was called 'An Insight Into My Life'. You can see it here if you wish.
Seeing as that got quite a lot of positive feedback, and I personally enjoyed writing it a lot, so I thought, what better idea than to do a part 2? (or a part II, if we want to be all fancy and numeric).
I may do these posts every few weeks, or once a month, if it's something that you would be interested in, and we could even include a theme if that sounds appealing to you? Do let me know your thoughts!
Ever since I was about 7 years old, (in my third proper year of primary school) I have experienced bullying to some extent. Back then, it wasn't quite so severe. We were all quite young, and everything just seems like a bit of fun then, don't you think? I used to feel incredibly isolated, and pushed out, as my then best friend has found a new friend. Bearing in mind I had been friends with that particular girl for as long as I could remember. A good few years. Then, she finds a new best friend to hang around with whenever she gets the chance. Even at that age, that obviously hurt. I was essentially being replaced, if you think about it logically. I tried to join in as much as I could, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't help but feel, and appear to be an outcast. That really did hurt me, and I can still remember the situation to this day. I wouldn't say that was necessarily classed as 'bullying', but bullying is an extremely broad term, and so I definitely do think that it counts towards my experience.
Something that I don't think many of you know is that I used to dance. I used to go to street dance lessons once a week (every Thursday, if I'm correct?). It was only for an hour, but I honestly loved those lessons. I have always been as far from confident as you could get, but I got involved, and I enjoyed myself, so that's all that matters, right? A girl 3 years above me went with me for one of the partner warm-ups once. I thought it was really kind of her, and it made me feel a lot better about myself. However, I didn't realise she had a group of girlfriends that wouldn't exactly adore me.
I used to be terrified of this one particular girl (I won't be naming any names, although I remember her, and the whole group as clear as day). So much so, that I actually think she was the reason I stopped dance, and she was also the reason as to why I was scared to even go to the toilets alone, in case I was taunted by her, or them. After that, everything was pretty rocky for the next few years. In Year 7, 8, and 9, I was bullied too. I wouldn't say that it's been full of abuse the whole 3 years, as that isn't true in the slightest, but whether it was torture for a week non-stop, or for 50 minutes on and off, that shouldn't matter. The point is, it was still torture. It was still bullying. It still leaves scars, whether physical, or emotional. When you're being bullied, there are so many emotions that can come alongside that experience, and regardless of what emotions you are experiencing, the point is that they are most definitely negative ones. And that is not okay. That is never okay. Why anyone deserves to go through such torture is beyond me.
I will never stop raising awareness for bullying, because although I'm well aware that many people are speaking out, and doing exactly that, until there is absolutely no bullies, or victims left in the world, I will not stop speaking out. Bullies are the lowest of the low, and they do not have the right to make another human feel worthless, just because they have their own insecurities. If you are being bullied, then please speak up. I put up this post a while ago, and so please do read it if you are being bullied, or know someone who is currently going through such a dreadful ordeal. I promise you, it will get better. I know it's so difficult, but you really do need to speak out, or it will only get worse.
You deserve so much better than this. You can not allow someone control over your life. You are in control of your own life, and your own emotions, and it must always stay that way. So, if you are being bullied, then please don't hesitate to contact me. I will always be more than happy to help.
Another major issue that is very common within today's society is low self-esteem. So many young people have 0 self-esteem, and I find that thought deeply saddening. Without waffling on too much, I'm going to go straight to the point. I have pretty much always despised my looks, or pointed out 1 million and 1 flaws whenever I get the chance. I guess it also stems from being bullied, and feeling like an outcast most of my life, particularly in social situations. It's become almost like a bad habit, and we all know that once you get so used to a particular habit, it seems almost normal. But, we should all just take a moment to realise that constantly putting ourselves down is not normal, and it is by no means healthy. We all have imperfections. That's a fact about each, and every single human on this planet. But, similarly, we all have positive points, whether it be through our personality, or our looks. It really doesn't matter how a person looks. As cringy as it may sound, it really is the inside that counts. When you're 70 years old, you're not going to worry about how long your hair is, or how slim you are. You're going to care about all the memories that you created during your younger years, and how important your loved ones are to you. Hence why it's so much more important to care about the inside qualities of a person, rather than the outside. A personality can stick forever. An appearance, however, can not. Instead of focusing directly on the 'negative' aspects of yourself, why not try to focus on the positives? Look in the mirror each day, and tell yourself that you are beautiful, or you are strong/talented/creative/athletic. Tell yourself anything that makes you feel good about yourself, whether it's a physical trait, or a personality trait. All of the little things make us who we are, flaws and all. It's important to think of at least  different things that make you feel confident. 3 personality traits, 3 appearance traits. I know what mine would be. For my personality, I would say that I'm kind, I'm supportive, and I'm creative. For my appearance, I like my eyes, my smile, and my lips. How about you? Why don't you all let me know, either in the comments, or through social media? I know it can be hard to love yourself when there are so many people who just love to tear others down, but once you have built up your own vision of self-worth, and your own self-esteem, then their words won't matter. You will be able to conquer the world. Just focus on the positives, and honestly try to ignore what others say as best as they can. It's your life, not theirs. You are the only one living your life, so why should it matter what they think about you? It's your decision, not theirs! Remember that if you're feeling down, or self-conscious. Be proud of who you are. You wouldn't be you otherwise.
Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this post, and I really do hope that it has helped some of you. Even if it has only helped one person, it has been worth my time. I love you all, and I hope you have a wonderful day today. If your day isn't going quite so well, then change it. One positive thought to shift your mind set can work wonders, believe me. Smile. Stay strong.
Lots of love,
Jade x


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