Wednesday, 30 September 2015

The Beginning

I started 'Simply Jadey' back in April earlier this year. I didn't really know what direction I wanted my blog to go in at first, but after I had gotten used to the idea of sitting behind a computer, writing about whatever my heart desired on that day, then I discovered my true 'blogging destiny', if you will.

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to help people. If you know me personally, then you will already be well aware of how passionately I feel about this particular topic. I always try my best to be there for anyone who may need a little love, offering support in any way that I can. I don't do it because I pity someone, or because I am bored within that moment, and so I just want to pass the time. I do it because I genuinely care about others. I genuinely want to help as many people as I can during my life. I know that I can't just help one person on the one-off occasion, and expect to have changed the world, but I know that if I spend time and effort on other individuals, then after a while, I can certainly leave an impact on their lives. All of the times that I have listened, given a hug, smiled when they seem down, explained my solution to the situation - all of these little things can have a huge effect on someone else's life. This is why I blog. This is why I spend my time coming up with thoughtful, genuinely encouraging blog post ideas, writing them all up, and producing the most helpful content that I can. It isn't just something that I can do within 5 minutes. It can take anywhere from an hour, to a few days to produce just one blog post. But, I don't mind that. I think that the more time I spend on a post, the more meaningful it is, and the more of a powerful message it gives to you.

Alongside all that, I do have my own life. I am currently in Year 10, completing my first proper year of GCSE's. I have a group of friends. I have a family. I have a selection of hobbies that I enjoy doing in my free time. But, I also have a blog. I also have a blog, the one that you are reading now, called Simply Jadey. And I post here, twice a week, in the hope that it will help one of you, or make one of you smile for the day. I dedicate a part of my week to my blog, and to all of you who are reading.
I do it, because I want to do it. I care about each and every one of you who has clicked onto this post in curiosity, or in delight. I care about you all, because I know what it's like. I know what it's like to be so low that you fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know what it's like to feel such sadness and pain lodged right into every part of your chest. I know what it's like to feel as though your broken heart may never be fixed again. I know. But, I am still here. And so are you, sweetie.
You are here for a reason. You are on this planet Earth, because you are meant to be. You may not see the purpose behind your life just yet, but I can promise you right now, there is one, and you will find it sooner than you think. You may have days where you just want everything to end. You will want to pull the covers over your head, and declare that you give up, and the world has won at tearing you down. We all experience that at some stage in our lives. That is okay. We are all human. But, giving up should never be an option. We are all capable of achieving anything that we set our mind to. We all have lungs that allow us to breathe, and hearts that allow us to feel such emotion.
We are all human, and we are all wonderfully unique. We are all strong soldiers who are capable of conquering even the bloodiest battles. We are all going to live our lives to the absolute fullest.

This is why I blog. This is why I set up Simply Jadey back in April earlier this year. To touch people's hearts, to make them feel such deep, and raw emotion, to make them feel happy to be alive. To encourage them to see the light at the end of the darkest tunnel. I want to save, and change lives. I want someone to look at me, and say "Because of you, I didn't give up. You saved my life". I understand that is quite an insane dream, but I hope that one day I will achieve that, and many more.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to every single person who has come along this journey so far. Whether you read my blog posts, whether you support me in my personal, everyday life, or whether we used to speak, or have spoken briefly before. I thank each and every one of you.
Without you, this journey would never have been possible. I genuinely do hope that I help some of you, whether in a little way, or a large way. You are all so important to me. You are my shining stars.

I love you all so much, and I am always here for any of you, whenever you may need me. I promise.

P.S. I have written my favourite poem below, just in case you need that extra bit of motivation today.

Human - Ridley Mcnabb
Today, I will be brave.
I will admit to the fact that I still haven't found that happiness I've been searching for.
It could be the fact that I haven't looked hard enough, or maybe I've just been looking too hard.
It could be the fact that there's a hormone in our bodies called serotonin, but my therapist says that I don't produce enough and that's why I have this thing that she calls depression.

So I take pills to make me feel better and that might be weird, you can think that if you want because the truth is that I think I'm weird too. Sometimes I think my weirdness is good, I can make people laugh if I really want to and I think that's pretty cool but there's also a bad weirdness to me that makes me feel really sad even though my life truly isn't all that bad but I can't help it. I can't just tell myself that everything's going to be okay because sometimes I don't even think I believe that anymore.

But today, I will be brave.
I will admit to the fact that yes, I have scars. But you know what? I have a birth mark on my right leg. I have freckles on my arms, I have ten fingers and a heart that pumps blood into my lungs and my lungs help me breathe. I have brown eyes and approximately one hundred and fifty hairs growing out of my eyelids that protect them from dust.

Yes, maybe I have purposely tried to hurt myself but so what? People say that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Well I must be pretty damn powerful because every day is a war between life and death and I may not think that I'm beautiful, or smart, or worthy, but I have a broken heart that's still beating and a terrifying mind that is still able to think about the children in Africa and the people suffering from cancer and the lonely girl in my class that I wish I had the courage to talk to and tell her that we are all human. We may not feel that we deserve to be alive but we have blood coursing through our veins and purity in our souls and mouths that are capable of speaking every single language in the world and brains that hold an infinite amount of knowledge and bones that allow us to move and hearts that can love.

So please, be brave.
Put the gun down. Step away from the bridge, throw the pills away, untie the knot and stay with us. Use your bones to lift your hand and place it to the left of your chest and feel the vibration of the most important organ in your body pulsing, keeping you alive. And that, my friend, is called purpose. You are still here despite everything that's ever happened to you. You survived the day when your best friend stopped calling and the day you waited two hours for that person who never showed up and the day you got picked up early from school to have your parents watch you get beat up on the playground and that's the day when they realized that their daughter is a loser but it's okay because you survived. You ignored the monster in your mind that is constantly knocking on doors but never being let in because you had the courage to say "stop. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to feel good about myself."

You are not a freak. You are not a loser. You are not fat, you are not ugly, you are not stupid. You are sixty percent water, sixty-five percent oxygen, eighteen percent carbon and one hundred percent human. Do not hate your body, you're beautiful. Do not hate your scars. Love them. Learn from them. Be the person who can say "yes, life was a battle and I didn’t come out untouched. I was beaten down and torn apart and bleeding from the skin and the heart. But I won." You conquered the bloodiest war, and you are so brave.

Yes, life is full of grief, and tragedy, and so much pain. Life is full of evil people and sickness and days where all you want to do is just get out of this place with so much hatred and cruelty and unfairness. But I have seen someone helping a stranger on the sidewalk, children holding doors open for the elderly, and love. So much love. And that's gotta be enough. We have to find a reason. We have to discover that one thing that will save us; that one good thing in this world that will give us hope. Hope that some day, things will be better.

But today, we will be brave.
Braver than yesterday, yet not as brave as we will be tomorrow. We will wake up with a smile on our face, and we will look in the mirror and say to ourselves:

"We are not our parents, we are not our siblings, or our teachers, or our friends, or our enemies. We are only ourselves. But one day, we will become doctors, we will become writers and lawyers and activists and dancers and rock stars. We will be mothers and fathers and lovers. We will not be perfect. But one day, our bruises will heal and our scars will fade and our pain will lessen and our smiles will become genuine. We will admit to the fact that bad days happen, but we will have so many good days and those are the ones that matter. We will not be our past, we will not be our mistakes, we will not be our fallen tears or our heart aches. We will be human, and one day, we will change the world."

~ Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come.
Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome ~

Jade x

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