Monday, 6 July 2015

Spread The Sunshine | Dealing With Heartbreak



Throughout our life, we usually all experience heartbreak at some point. Maybe some of us experience it more often or less often than others? It's a completely normal thing and if you are going through a heartbreak, then you are not the only one who has to deal with it. Many people are in the same position as you.

When you think of the term 'heartbreak', you may be thinking that I am only talking about a breakup or a romantic scenario, but that isn't the case. Heartbreak can be caused by one of these situations, but it can also be caused by a death, betrayal, friendship, family member or even rejection - anything that can lead to deep emotional pain. I know that I have certainly experienced it more than once, which is what gave me the idea for this post. The amount of times my girl friends have been crying and devastated over a boy is insane. Similarly, many boys get their hearts broken at some point in their lives too. It can be one of the hardest things to come to terms with, but there are ways to make the experience a little less painful, and I'm going to be sharing some of my advice with you today.

The first important step is to give yourself time. Don't expect to be completely fine within an instant. In any situation, it's going to take longer than just a minute to heal. You are going to need a while to pick yourself back up again and carry on without that person in your life. If it's the death of someone close to you, then of course you're not going to be yourself for a long time after, and it may take months. But, you have to take little steps and eventually you will become a stronger person. Hold onto the happy memories. Treasure photographs, letters, cards and materialistic possessions as well as the special times that cannot be treasured physically. Keep that person close to your heart, but also try to cope and carry on with everyday life. It will be difficult. It will be very difficult. You just have to take it step by step and accept that some days will be harder, but you will get stronger in time.

If it's a breakup, of either a friendship or a relationship, then you need to think about the kind of breakup it was. If it was a terrible breakup where there was a lot of cheating, lies and nasty things involved, then I'd highly suggest permanently removing the person from your life. Some things just aren't meant to be, and you can find someone so much better. If it was a civil, understandable breakup, where you both agreed it was for the best and you parted on decent terms, then maybe you could remain friends, or just remain friendly, so that there are no arguments or complications. The same applies with a friendship. If it just isn't bringing you happiness anymore, and the arguing begins to take over, then cut them off. If they have hurt you, cut them off, destroy all the pictures, contact details and anything that may remind you of them. Why would you want a poisonous person? Give yourself space from them. Delete them on all social media and avoid them wherever possible.

Distract yourself and surround yourself with other people. Take up a new hobby or get more involved in an old one. This may be photography, music, dance, art, a type of sport, writing - whatever it is, spend time on it. Invite a friend round. Go and have a coffee with a family member. Just talk to your loved ones about other things that take your mind off it. Make new friends too! Get talking to people on Instagram or Snapchat! You may not want to replace them, but it will help you in the long run. If it's the death of someone that you are dealing with, then hang out with your friends and family, even if they have been affected too. You may both be grieving so you need to try and keep yourself distracted, whether it's a hobby, or having a pamper, and just reflect on the happy memories. Talk about them over a cup of tea or a meal with your family. Hold a party to celebrate their life and talk to people about the good times, their achievements throughout their life, what they meant to you etc.

Talk about your feelings to people you trust. Have a heart to heart with a sibling, or a best friend. Talk to anyone you love and cry if you need too. Family and friends should be there to support you. This can be said for whatever the situation is. Just talk about it and let the tears out. Don't bottle up your feelings. Accept them and get professional help if you feel you need too. Don't be afraid.

And most importantly, stay positive. Don't let anybody bring you down. Whether it's the death of a loved one, the loss of a friendship, rejection or a breakup, don't choose negative coping skills. Always try to be positive. It may seem difficult now, but there is always, always a light at the end of the tunnel, and things will become better and less painful. You just have to remain optimistic and talk to people to distract and help yourself. I'm always available on all my social media! Take time to yourself and just remember all the good times, but understand that there will be brighter days. Things may never be the same again, but you have to try your best to carry on with your life, no matter what.

I really hope this post helped some of you. Let me know if it did and I shall speak to you all soon!

QOTP - Who has made you the happiest this week? Think about those most precious to you, treasure them and hold them close to your heart! Mine has been my boyfriend. What about you?

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