Sunday, 3 May 2015

Social Issues|| Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is extremely common. Researchers show that it affects 1 in 4 women in their lifetime. Two women are killed a week by their partners or ex partners. All forms of domestic violence - psychological, financial, emotional and physical come from the abuser wanting control and power over their intimate partner or other family members. Domestic violence is repetitively continuous and actually seriously life-threatening, as it can result in permanent damage, both emotionally & physically and it can lead to vulnerable, intimidated people loosing their lives. It can get worse over time and it can also destroys the lives of both women, children & their families. Crime statistics and research shows that it is mainly women who are attacked and men are usually the perpetrator's, but it can vary from person to person and that doesn't mean that men can't become victims. It can happen in both heterosexual and straight relationships. Women's violence is often seen as self-defence and is only rarely part of consistent behaviour.
This issue also causes an extreme affect on young children. Nearly three quarters of children considered 'at risk' by Social Services are living in households where one of the parents is abusing the other one. These children can often experience sexual or physical abuse by the same perpetrator.
Any woman can experience the damage of this issue, regardless of race, ethnicity, lifestyle or anything else. Domestic violence can literally take place in any relationship and it can start at any time. In some cases, older children such as teenagers can become aggressive to other family members.
Although every situation is different and no case is the same, there are common factors that can be classed as abuse or domestic violence. Acknowledging these factors is an important step in recognising whether you, or someone else is currently being abused so we can put a stop to it sooner.
  • Destructive criticism and verbal abuse -  Shouting, mocking, name-calling, threatening etc.
  • Pressure tactics - Sulking, threatening to withhold money, taking the children away, stealing your car keys, disconnecting the telephone, trying to make you do everything they want, threatening suicide, pressurising you to use certain substances, making you hide illegal drugs, lying to your friends and family about you, telling you that you are not allowed any decisions.
  • Disrespect - Constantly putting you down in front of other people, not listening or responding when you are trying to talk to them, interrupting your phone calls, refusing to help out, stealing.
  • Breaking trust - Lying to you, withholding certain information, being jealous, cheating on you, going out behind your back, being secretive etc.
  • Harassment - Following you, checking up on you, not allowing you any privacy, embarrassing you in public 
  • Threats - Making angry gestures, using size to intimidate, shouting you down, destroying your possessions, breaking things, damaging the property etc.
  • Sexual violence - Using force, threats or intimidation, having sex when you don't want it, forcing you to do things with other people, making you watch sexual content
  • Physical abuse - Punching, kicking, slapping, hitting, pushing, biting, strangling etc.
  • Denial - Saying that the abuse doesn't happen, saying you caused it, begging and promising it won't happen again, lying and acting innocent in front of others
How To Help Prevent Domestic Violence:
Most people remain silent about this issue, which they probably think is easiest and the least harmful, but once you have gotten help regarding what's happening, then you will be less at risk and you will feel safer in your own home. Speaking on behalf of someone that was hurt isn't always the best way to do things. However, there are a couple of things that you can do to help.
  • Talk to the person that you think is being abused. Only do this when the person's partner is not around and talk to them in a non-judgemental, non-critical way. Reassure them that they are not alone and that this issue is very common, but they will be safe, supported and helped.
  • Say you are worried about their safety. If the person does not respond, then just leave it for a couple of days, but don't give up. Let them know you aren't going anywhere.
  • Offer to help or give some time to hang out with them. Let them make their own decisions, but if they need anything, tell them that you will be there to help whenever.
  • Offer to listen & use supportive language. Reassurance and support is a key thing when helping an abuse to get help. Let them know you care and you aren't going anywhere.
  • Don't say bad things about the abusive person. If you start to talk about the abuser in a negative way, this can make the victim feel like it's their fault for getting involved, so be sure to approach them gently and with care.
  • Remind the person that they deserve to be happy and loved in their relationship.
  • Use your local resources or do your research. If it's life-threateningly dangerous, then you need to contact 999 and try to get help if you're being abused, or call for your next door neighbour or someone. Anyone. Just hold on and wait for help. If it's not at the point where you're dying or in serious pain, then still call someone you trust or get in contact with local resources. 0808 2000 247 is the women's aid number if you and your child are in danger.
  • Stay in their life by being supportive and creating a safe place to talk.
As hard and as scary as it may be, you have to do what's best for your own safety and the safety of your children if you have any. Please do not allow this to continue so you suffer in silence. Stand Up & Speak Out To Domestic Violence.
Contact Details For Seeking Help:
Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 80 10 800
Scotland Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0800 027 1234 
Northern Ireland 24 Hour Domestic & Sexual Violence Helpline - 0808 802 1414 
Republic Of Ireland Domestic Abuse Helpline - 1800 341 900
Criminal Law Advice Line: 020 7251 8887  
Rights of Women Family Law Advice Line: 0207 251 6577 Textphone: 0207 490 2562
Available Monday 11am – 1pm , Tuesday & Wednesday 2pm-4pm/7pm-9pm, Friday 12noon – 2pm.
Rights of Women Immigration and Asylum Law Advice Line: 0207 490 7689
Men's Advice Line 0808 801 0327 
Jewish Women's Aid0808 801 0500
Aanchal - 0845 451 2547
Respect Phoneline - 0808 802 40 40 For domestic violence perpetrators. Monday - Friday 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm. You can email
Hopefully this post has helped a couple of you, whether you want to help someone else, or whether you're trying to help yourself. I'm sending all my very best wishes & I hope you're all safe & happy.


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