Monday, 4 May 2015

Mental Health Monday #4 | Strength

Without strength, I think that life would be quite challenging because nobody would ever be able to push themselves or branch out to say yes when it comes to new opportunities and experiences.
I have always been the sort of person that perseveres and never gives up, and I'm proud to say that. Whenever I have gone through tough things, I have stayed strong and carried on until they have got better throughout time. Of course, I've had many times in my life where I have wanted to end it all and stop trying, but where would I have honestly got if I'd have done that?
Throughout the beginning of last year, I was in a very unhealthy relationship. I hardly even knew the boy that I was 'going out' with and I don't even believe that I truly wanted to be with him, or I wouldn't have felt the way I did at some points. I was right to be apprehensive. He was a lying cheat, and a player. He had about 6-10 different girls involved with him in a romantic way at exactly the same time, which I think is twisted in itself. I didn't feel comfortable and honestly, he seemed far too flirty, up-for-anything and sexual. After finding out he'd cheated on me, I tried confronting him multiply times, but he'd always be in denial and find some way to worm himself back into my life. It was quite honestly horrendous. I finally had enough and after about 6 months, I decided to just tell him straight that I was sick of it and I knew exactly what was going on. He obviously took it the wrong way and would try to use blackmail against me, but I wasn't going to be put down by this low-life any longer. It did disturb me an awful lot after that and I thought I'd never get over this situation, or him. I felt like I was going to be alone forever and that if one human being has the power to treat me so badly and make me feel like that, how did I know any other boy was going to be different? But, you know what? I did get through it. I did move on. I did stop thinking and worrying about him.
At the time, I cried for weeks and I genuinely thought that things would never get better, but they did. I promise you right now, they did. I was on and off flirting with a couple of boys, just enjoying being young & free, then I gradually found my current boyfriend Charlie. You know what? I'm the happiest that I've been since the last 3 years and that heartbreak. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. There was me, thinking I'd never get anyone that loved and cared about me, and now look at where I am.
Believe me when I say I know how difficult it is. I have been through it (clearly) and I know that it may feel like your journey has come to an end, but I promise you, it will get better.
If you are currently going through what I went through (any form of heartbreak, breakups, relationship problems, crushes that aren't working out or anything else) then here is how I coped.
How To Cope With Romantic Problems & Ways To Get Through Them:
Distract yourself - As hard as it may seem at the time, it's honestly the best, most effective option to take. Go out with your friends, spend time with your family, enjoy your hobbies. Do whatever it takes to help you forget that person who so badly broke your heart. Don't give them the satisfaction.
Keep space - Remove this poisonous person out of your life, for good. Don't allow them to upset you or control you anymore. Make room for better, more positive people. Delete all their contact details and block them on everything. Avoid them as much as you possibly can. YOU DO NOT NEED THEM.
Cope with the pain in your own way - Just because you are hurting, it does NOT mean that you need to take the pain out by harming yourself. Have a cry, eat as much food as you want, sleep all day - do whatever and then just say 'f you' and remember you can do so much better than that worthless human.
Accept that it will take time - With anything in life, things don't just happen overnight. You won't be over the pain within a few hours. It will take time. You have to understand that and allow yourself to move on at your own pace. Don't rush. Just take it steady and have time to yourself.
I promise you there is someone out there for everyone. I honestly do believe that each and every one of us on this planet has a soul mate and we will all get our chance to experience true love. If you are currently going through a breakup or things aren't working out for you, I will do a separate post on that, but please remember that you will not feel like this forever and things will get better. This post doesn't just apply for relationships & love, but for anything tough that we experience in life. If you don't stay strong, you will never fully live your life happily. Strength can get you so, so far. Please don't give up. As hard as it may seem in the moment, things always turn out okay in the end. Remember that everything happens for a reason, and your pain will not be there forever.

Stay strong my lovelies. I will always be here for you. You are strong enough to win any battle. If you are experiencing these problems right now, I'm sending you lots of love & I'm hoping for the best. Do what I did and stop living like that. Get away from the negativity & allow yourself to feel true happiness like you deserve.

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