Wednesday, 6 June 2018

Being Confident Within Your Own Skin*

Confidence is a tricky thing to master. In fact, do we ever really master it? I've never been one to love myself or feel empowered on a daily basis, but as I've gotten older, I've tried to play around and experiment a little bit more in an attempt to change that. 

The clothes that we wear will often have a huge impact on the way that we feel within our own skin - and sometimes, it has more of an impact than we care to realise. A fun fact for you all is that I actually used to want to be a fashion designer when I was little and I'd spend hours talking to my Grandma about different pairings and different styles, which I had quickly become fascinated by. 

My relationship with my own body has always been a strained one and as I got past the pre-teen stage, I got more into makeup than fashion, because I just felt 'too chubby' and as though I had 'too many curves'. I naturally have chubby thighs, wider hips and quite a full bottom, but the girls around me and women that I'd see in the media seemed to be the opposite of that. I've had a sweet tooth for as long as I can remember and I was never one for competing in sports. Dance was more my thing, but that soon came to an end when a bully attempted to tear me apart. 

During that time of the month (ladies, you know what I'm talking about!), it's natural to become bloated and want to devour all the sweet treats in sight. I'm sure a lot of you can relate and then 5 days in, we end up feeling sorry for ourselves and regret all of our choices that lead to this state. 

As someone that has been menstruating since I was 10, I know all too well how much anxiety can arise from the minute you start until the moment you finish. I've gone through phases with my periods, where I haven't been able to walk home from school in the fear that I will leak or that I'll turn anything white a stained shade of red. 

However, this is where I have a tried and tested solution for you! Knixteen have come up with a new style of period-proof underwear, which will ensure that you no longer leak, whether you're partying in public or studying for six hours in school. They are made from super soft LYCRA SPORT fabric and carbon cotton with a seamless design, which contains a thin, built-in panty liner that can absorb 1-3 teaspoons of blood - equal to 2 tampons! In addition, the moisture lock sides will keep your stress at bay in knowing that leaks will no longer be noticeable and the no-stink technology will mean that you can be rest assured, because there won't be any nasty odours coming from your body. 

On their website, there are over 200 different reviews and this product has received an overall rating of 4 and a half out of 5 stars. If that doesn't show how reliable and revolutionary they are, then I don't know what does! They come in this bikini style or a boyshort style, depending on what you feel comfortable with and you can either order one on it's own, or a 2 or 5 pack. 

Sunday, 3 June 2018

As Busy As A Bee

Lately, I've been going through a pretty weird transition in my life. I feel like I'm properly becoming who I'm supposed to become and I'm getting a better sense of what impact I want to have on the world. It may not seem that big of a deal to some people, considering I still am only 17, but believe me, everything I'm experiencing right now is a big deal to me - and that should be all that matters!

June is set to be a very hectic, but very exciting month for me and that's why I wanted to do this post to let you know what I've been up to during the half of the year just gone and what plans are set in stone for the coming months. There's no time to sit back and relax just yet, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing either!

As I'm sure you're aware by now if you have been reading my blog for a while, I started working for a local McDonalds. My shifts were all over the place at the start, but at the moment, I just work 5 hours after Sixth Form on a Tuesday and then I take on an extra 8 hours or a few more shifts in the school holidays if I am able to do so. The 8 hour ones are always a killer for me, but I get to challenge myself more and earn more money, so how could I possibly complain?! I'm usually placed on the drive-thru, so I just fill up the stock occasionally, make the drinks, make sure the orders are ready and then greet the customer, giving them any straws/napkins/condiments that they require! It can be such a challenge sometimes, but I'm getting more used to it after every shift and with more time and more practise, I'm sure I'll be a whizz on most of the stations (well, here's hoping!).

In addition to that, I'm still studying my first year of A-Levels and believe me, they're proving to be quite the challenge. I have copious amounts of coursework to complete and I'm also currently resiting my Maths GCSE, which is genuinely the bane of my life! I've never really been able to get my head around it, but now I'm completely losing interest. I just have 2 calculator papers to sit and then I'm crossing my fingers and toes that I can wave goodbye to Maths - for good!

On the education front, I'm starting to make post-18 plans for next year, which is super exciting and equally as stressful. I'm 99.9% sure that I want to study social work at a particular university, which I actually visit at the end of this month (!!!), but of course, not everything always goes to plan and I still have everything to sort out and evaluate. As cheesy as it sounds, I do just want a career where I can make a difference to people's lives and I do believe social work would help me to do that. Over the next few months, I'm visiting a number of different unis to help me select my top 5, so I'll keep you updated as the process develops.

Apart that, I don't really have any other plans! I started personal training back in March, as part of my DofE, which I have my final expedition for in a couple of weekends time and I want to try and shift a few more pounds, just for self-satisfaction before my holiday to Nice at the end of July! Although I went to Cornwall last year, I haven't been abroad since 2015, so it's a highly anticipated break away.

I hope you enjoyed reading this little update and I'll be sure to let you know what goes on with everything again soon! If you want to, you can leave a comment letting me know your latest aventures, as I'm always keen to hear from my readers.

Lots of love always,


Sunday, 27 May 2018

My Signature Scent

Something that I've always been into is body sprays and perfumes. I just can't get enough of them and I'm forever buying more, even though I have at least 50+ already - and that's a slightly worrying thought as I'm only 17 and I probably don't even use half of them!

A year or so ago, my mum treated me to the Juicy Couture Viva La Juicy Eau de Parfum. Considering the fact that it was a present, receiving it obviously came as quite a shock to me at first because I never expected to be lucky enough to receive such a beautiful fragrance that I'd heard so much about over the years! She originally got me a smaller size due to it being the first time of her making this purchase but then once I had completely run out, she managed to get her hands on the 100ml size, which is actually really rare and a nightmare to find in England apparently!

Just from looking at the intricacy of the bottle, you can tell how luxurious and expensive the brand is, let alone this particular perfume. The bottle really is like a statement in itself and nothing compares to having it on your dressing table. It looks really elegant and girlie and I think that it would be perfect for if you were going on a date and you wanted to come across as flirtatious and irresistable! (I totally didn't steal those words off of the Boots website...). I'm terrible at describing scents, but it's said to 'combine delicious wild berries with creamy vanilla and bright jasmine'. Doesn't that just sound like a dream to any lady (or ladies man!) out there? It's very strong, so you only need a few spritzes here and there, but it lingers on my clothes and my skin for hours and it's now pretty much the only fragrance that I'll ever wear out, no matter what the occasion. Don't get me wrong, I do still play around with body sprays, but if I want to make a statement and ensure that everybody smells me, then this is without a doubt the best option.

I think perfume is one of those things that you do want to invest in, because they tend to last longer than most other beauty products and they are something that can make such a noticeable difference without being overpowering. You could say that they are effortless and I absolutely love that!

Now that we have been getting some promising weather (I say that after we had a horrendous storm last night...), I think it would be safe for you to invest in this fragrance for your upcoming holidays/festivals/days out/dates because it will be the best money you have ever spent on a perfume!

Do you own anything from Juicy Couture? Are you going to be making a cheeky purchase now?

Lots of love always,


Wednesday, 16 May 2018

MHAW 2018: All About Stress

One of the most common emotions that all of us have to deal with throughout our lives is stress. It can be debilitating, exhausting and overwhelming at the best of times, but how we learn to cope is what we should be focusing our attention on.

I have personally always been a very anxious, panic-stricken individual and no matter what happens, I can't ever seem to remain calm for too long. Over the years, I have thankfully improved, but I still have a way to go and many more issues that I need to work on, which is completely understandable.

We all have different experiences of managing with the difficulties that everyday life throws at us and some of us manage better than others. Some people might find mundane tasks too much of a challenge, causing them to enter panic mode, whereas other people might only start having a meltdown when things have continuously been going downhill for a few months. We all have different tolerances and that's just how it is.

I'm currently in Year 12, which is my first year of Sixth Form for anyone who doesn't live in the UK and to be quite honest with you, I am finding it a struggle in regard to the amount of stress that I'm feeling. At the moment, I also work once a week at McDonalds, have coursework and other bits to complete, go to personal training once a week, volunteer at a charity shop once a week, have DofE meetings once a week, have blog posts to work on and schedule and I also have to make sure I relax, spend time on myself and get enough sleep too, so that I can keep going. These past 5 months have been the most productive and rewarding for me, but also the most challenging. When you feel stressed and isolated with all of the demands that your life entails, it can be hard to remain positive and help yourself, because you might think that other people don't understand your situation and they could just assume that you're making a fuss out of nothing.

However, we are now in 2018 and mental health is becoming much less of a taboo topic. We have occasions like Mental Health Awareness Week, so that we can speak up and encourage others to do the same, regardless of whether they are struggling or whether they just want to make a difference to the lives of those who are. Things may have become too much for you, but you don't have to let them take over your life and cause your mental health and wellbeing to get knocked down. There are always answers and solutions to even the stickiest of situations and there is always support available, whether it's professional or non-professional.

I thought it would be a good idea to use my time wisely and share with you all a short list of the tips and the techniques that I use for myself when I'm feeling stressed in the hope that one of them could be beneficial to you too:

Something that is so important, but so often overlooked is managing your time and sticking to some sort of schedule, whether it's rough or super specific. I used to be awful at this and I'm still trying to work on it, but things will seem a lot less complicated if you use to-do lists to your advantage and actually focus on tasks one at a time. Keep track of your deadlines and work on whatever is due first. Once that's completed to the best of your ability, put 110% into the next thing on the list. Don't take on too much and if you feel yourself beginning to slip into that bad habit, just remember that your mental health and wellbeing comes first and you will only become unwell if you don't listen to the signals that your mind and your body are giving off when they are too tired. 

Breaks are needed in every aspect of life, but they aren't always implemented into our routine as much as they should be. We need to take breaks in school, at work, from people and above everything else, when we settle down for the night. It links on to the previous point, but overworking yourself is never fun and if you become too ill because of it, then you'll end up in a worse state and you will be completely unproductive anyway. Even if you just take 30 minutes to read a book or 15 to practise your breathing and have a cup of tea, you will be surprised how much it will benefit you. 

Over the years, there has always been an attitude where we should be afraid to open up to others and ask for their help, especially when our mental health and wellbeing is concerned. It's thought that we will be seen as incapable, reliant or foolish, but that is so far from the case. A problem shared truly is a problem halved and people won't ever get anywhere in life if they are too afraid to confide in someone about what's on their mind. When I was going through what I refer to as my 'darkest time', I tried to talk to people about it, but I didn't feel like they understood or could empathise with me. Sometimes that will be the case and it can feel like a kick in the teeth, but it shouldn't put you off. If you are struggling to such an extent, you should keep persisting because even when it feels like 5 people don't get you on a deeper level like you wish for, there will always be someone that does. It may just take you a little longer to find them, but you will eventually if you keep searching and have patience. I have grown up to be an open-minded, straight-forward individual and since entering the latter part of my teens, I'll talk to anyone about anything. You may think that nobody in the world could possibly understand your current concern, but it's most likely more common than you think.

The point of this rambly post is to say that you shouldn't be ashamed if you are finding life tough right now. It is a challenge and nobody ever said it was going to be easy. You are here on this Earth for a reason and every single person has their own path to follow and their own purpose to discover. 
If you have nobody around you that you can talk to, you can always send me a message on Instagram or Twitter. My username is @simplyjadeyx on both of them and I will always aim to answer as soon as I can. Alternatively, you can write in a diary, draw your emotions, connect with song lyrics, get into a sport or a type of reflective dance or you can contact some helpful organisations which can provide you with more information should you need it.

Stress is such a normal thing but it can escalate if it isn't dealt with properly and quickly. If you need to do further research or find support, here are a list of different contact details for you:


0800 1111
116 123 
0300 123 3393
020 8215 2356

I really hope you can take something away from this post. Just remember, you are not alone.

Lots of love always,


Wednesday, 2 May 2018

A Letter To My First Love

Dear C,

We first met in February 2014 at our local park, where we later created many more memories. You were on a dog walk and I was hanging out with a friend, not knowing that you were also friends with her. I was incredibly socially awkward at this point, but I got a certain vibe off of you and I knew you were the sort of person that I would want to explore. I'm not saying that I felt a particular spark ignite between the two of us or anything of the sort, but I had hoped that there would be something at least.

After that, I desperately tried to somehow find contact with you again. I searched through Facebook for hours on end, but your profile was nowhere to be seen. Surely our meeting wasn't just a one off? All I could do now was wait and hold onto the theory that what's meant to be will always find a way.

Rightly so, I stumbled across your profile a couple of months later during the Summer holidays and I was excited beyond words. Finally, I'd be able to talk to you and get to know more about what sort of character you were. I assumed that you would remember me and be just as ecstatic as myself, but when you came back questioning whether you knew who I was, I was a little bit taken aback to say the least.

Anyway, over the coming months, we were both on our Summer holidays, you just about to start Year 7 (at my secondary school, of course) and I was just about to head into Year 9. We met up at the same park twice during that Summer and although I was at first ever so shy and awkward, I felt like we really 'hit it off', as they say. There was something so enchanting about your sense of humour, the stories you would tell me, the way you would just always have something to say, no matter what the situation. I was going off to Devon to stay with family, but we tried to message each other as much as we could, particularly at night when everyone else was asleep and I was just laying in bed, not doing anything else. You asked me out at that point and I said yes, despite the fact I was 6 hours away.

It was kind of strange to say the least when you joined my school as a cheeky Year 7 and you boasted to all your new mates about how you had an older girlfriend. I must say, it wasn't exactly my best highlight in life. I couldn't go out with another younger boy, so count yourself as an exception. I'd get judged on the daily and I'm not going to lie, it did really get to me, but the more time went on, I just accepted it and tried to not let it get to me as much. However, that didn't really work for long and I ended things out of nowhere about a month and a half after we got together. We repeated that cycle again, but then in February 2015, I decided that it would (hopefully) be 3rd time lucky and I was old enough to give it a proper shot. Well, I was to be turning 14 the next month, so that was old enough for me to be serious!

During the 9 months that we were 'properly' together, you could say that it was a rollercoaster ride at the very least. It was traumatic at times and there were enough tears and tantrums (on my behalf at least) to last a lifetime. It's fair to say that you were unfaithful and you caused me a lot more stress than what was actually necessary. I got deeper and deeper into my feelings whilst you gradually became more and more detached. You would get with my friends and equally my enemies behind my back, betray my trust and laugh through every situation, denying your wrongdoings.

It wasn't all doom and gloom though. Throughout the 2 years where I struggled the most, we were on and off for the most part and there were many occasions where I'd open up to you and cry into your arms, wondering how I was going to find the strength to fight through the days. That sounds dramatic to anybody else reading this, but you and I both know that's how bad things had got. I will never forget staying up all night messaging you, phoning you for 5 hours straight, getting endless Dominos and Pizza Gogo with you to take back to my house, all our inside jokes (literally thousands), going to our secret place in the woods with our snacks to spend the whole day doing barely anything and I'll never forget all those deep chats we had, how we planned to move to Spain when we were older, the fact we wanted to get married and have 4 kids and a dog. It's quite sweet, as I do look back with fond memories, but things had actually ended a long time before I finally let go.

Truth be told, I didn't 'let go' until around February this year. You kept flirting with me and every time I'd go through something difficult, I'd go running back to you, begging for your support, crying down the phone to you in the hope that you would drop the drugs and come to look after me. That never happened - not once. It took me almost 4 years to fully close the chapter of you and I. You hurt me in ways that I could never explain and you really did act in unforgivable ways. Things were never quite the same after all of the drama happened, but even when we weren't going out, we were still flirty, we were still close and we somehow managed to build up what we had into something different, but something equally as special. I lost the romantic type of trust for you years ago, but I've always trusted you as a person - almost in a friend way. I always thought you were different to the other guys and on a deeper level, you were.

You helped me in ways nobody else could. You helped me to gain confidence, you helped me to believe in myself, you helped me to break out of my comfort zone, you helped me realise that not everybody has the same intentions as me, you helped me realise that my kindness is invaluable and more than anything, you helped me recognise my worth. It's just obvious that you couldn't treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

I will always hold you and our memories in a special place in my heart. You were my first love and you were the first boy I ever shared more than a kiss with. Things were said and done, but at the end of the day, you were always my best friend - above and before anyone else. I will always be in awe of your confidence, your independence from such a young age, your easy going nature, your generosity (sometimes) and your ability to be so loyal to your friends and family. For all them years, you were my inspiration, but now I'm strong enough to be my own inspiration.

Thank you for everything. For the good times and the bad, the heartbreaks and the happiness. I appreciate it all and you are the human that's shaped me more than any other human has.

I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, but I will not allow myself to be your backup anymore.

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